Lesbians

Sunday Morning

I left before the drunks came in

As the music started,

The raucous and the merry din,

Of the lost and broken-hearted.

Now I'm alone and pondering

In a house with cats,

Youth and time spent squandering,

Sneaky minds in hats.

He went insane. He lost his mind.

There's evil neath that brow.

Some people look and never find.

But I believe it now.

My medications do me right.

A keen-edged sense of sin.

I am old, and it is night.

He wants to do me in.

And if I didn't own this shack -

A tangled mess, a pity! -

I'd return to Hackensack,

Across from New York City.

10-20-13

Comfort

I watched a person weep for his religion,

Palms across his eyes. I stood and wondered.

I couldn't talk to him. What could I say?
Where's the soul so lost it takes a god

To bring it from the woods into salvation?

What could I say? I couldn't talk to him.

Aware of wounds but mute to say a word,

When someone hurts, I want to comfort him.

And I can't. And don't know what to say.

People cry for comfort and relief.

Help me! Heal me! Even hidden pains.

Nothing helps. A hand upon the shoulder.

But I am unaware of its effect.

10-19-13

 

The Phone Call

No one but dad and psychologists

And you believe I'm bad.

And a friendship of 15 years

Ends in psychosis and sh-t.

Cordelia and Lear. Do they reconcile?
Does the ocean prevail?
And I am going insane.

All the corners are taken.

What can I say? There's nothing to say.

All I was thinking was right and wrong.

You do not love me at all.

11-19-13

A Word To George In His Distress

Can you expect him to be there for you?

Not since his grandfather died in his youth

Has anyone, anyone been there for him.

A few people tried. They were talking to air.

Or dismissed summarily. Driven away.

A silly expression. To “be there” for you.

There's nothing inside him,

Behaviors or feelings,

To be there for anyone ever again.

But he writes poetry – really quite good -

A surrogate person, persona, a mask.

And all of it totally, utterly fake.

He's dead like a tree that is rotten inside.

And several times he has fallen.

Today he is going to try.

10-19-13

Lesbians

Shirley was my lesbian

In chocolate cords and boots,

Very witty, very nice,

But very long ago.

You also have a dike

I'd like to rip up by the roots!

Your lesbian is here to take the dough.

I wish your heart would

Seek a new direction.

My lesbian took nothing but affection.

10-19-13

 

The Last Lap

I'm going insane. Isn't risperdal good

Any more? I've been taking it 30 years.

I'm starting to cry so I guess I'm not wood.

Now ends the world in a flood of tears.

I couldn't withstand. I have never been strong.

People like flies buzz around me and whine.

Passing unseen through the feet of the throng,

I'm grasping my books. Even these are not mine.

10-19-13