"Let's Do It"

“Let's Do It”

(a parody on Cole Porter in 5 choruses)

(well, Noel Coward did it)

1.

White mice with rapturous squeaks do it

Plumbers after plugging up your leaks do it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

Great thinkers sit and ask why do it

Often maiden aunties on the sly do it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

The penguins far out at sea do it

They're so properly dressed

As Portnoy why didn't he do it

He was very repressed

Fat fleas in feverish fits do it

Television preachers at the Ritz do it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

2.

Some folks before shoes and rice do it
Using every possible device do it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

Marcel recalling past times did it

Mariners while sucking on their limes did it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

What is Clark Kent on the prowl for

When he's wearing his cape

And Batman puts on a cowl for

A clandestine escape

A. Graham Bell on the phone did it

Solemn Nietzsche sitting all alone did it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

3.

Poirot who's no Provencal did it

Sweet Miss Marple straightening her shawl did it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

Medieval monks just for Lent did it

Hammerstein with lots of sentiment did it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

Big bumble bees with such class do it

When they're buzzing along

Rich T.V. preachers en masse do it

To the clamoring throng

Hermaphrodites maybe twice do it

People that you think are very nice do it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

4.

Old Johann Bach yessirree did it

In between cantatas constantly did it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

The Barrymores and the Lunts did it

Maybe God and Mary more than once did it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

Some fussy prostitutes cuss men

And give nothing away

Although some others like busmen

Take a nice holiday

Soft pussy cats when they must do it

William Buckley can but only just do it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

5.

Great men in each former age did it

Lady Chatterley on every page did it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

Fat Santa Claus in the snow does it

With all the little elves he – ho, ho, ho does it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

Miss Murdoch in every book does it

And she's very profound

But Sherlock Holmes says one look does it

If your logic is sound

And Casanova you bet did it

With absolutely everyone he met did it

Let's do it

Let's fall in love

Rhymes

Everyone who writes in rhyme

Has to have a paradigm.

Whether it is a-b-a-b

(Consequently maybe baby),

Or whether it more loosely lies,

For instance in “The Bridge of Sighs”.

Or the pattern of the sonnet

(Which I cannot write dog gone it!).

Sometimes rhymes are repetitious

And occasionally vicious -

Oh, there's nothing so invigorating as a little rape

By a motorcycle gang from which you can't escape

With six or seven passersby to stand around and gape.

Oh, there's nothing so invigorating as a little rape.

Or it can be clever, smart

Like the rhymes of Larry Hart -

I'll get brown and sunned un-

Less this town is London.

Though in my flat I boil tea

And entertain like royalty,

My life is just a riddle.

Don't play upon your fiddle.

I won't hear its squeak,

My spirit's weak.

And though he did the Latin Quarter,

Something can be said for Porter -

In the apse

A couple of chaps

Will sing us a rhapsody.

Perhaps they'll get a fee.

You're the fruit

That is in my yogurt.

You're the suit

On a Humphrey Bogurt.

Rhymes were once the talk o' fellers

Like the thrifty Rockefellers.

I do not like the present age.

Stupid poets think they're sage.

And now at last it seems betimes

The world will be fini with rhymes.